My love is nothing like a storybook story. There is no chaotic traumatic event that threw us together. There was no miscommunication or misunderstanding that led to a major break up and caused us to realise our true feelings for each other. It was a short courtship, but hardly whirlwind. There was no pressure from well-meaning friends and family keeping us apart.
No dragons to slay, no heroic quests to perform.
In short, we had a boring, normal, almost stress-free relationship, right from the beginning. And I am secure and stable and utterly certain of my husband’s love for me.
From the beginning, from before the beginning in fact, we knew that we had a lot in common. Shortly after we officially started dating we had a discussion of our expectations and baggage, so that we each knew where the other was coming from and what to expect. When we got engaged and moved in together we also very carefully and clearly laid out our feelings on communication and finances and respective space requirements.
Our wedding was small and intimate and only included very close family and friends. Our families mesh with no tension, and all in all we just had one big awesome party.
For the longest time I had been waiting for all the romantic trappings – the love at first sight (which in my case was actually love at first Skype), the barriers to be overcome, the whisking away for a sudden elopement, all that. And I was wrong. Because there is nothing more romantic than knowing that the man you’re with knows exactly who you are, all your insecurities and foibles and deepest shameful secrets… and loves you for it. Not despite it, but because those hidden aspects are what make you who you are. And I love him the same. My husband is never going to rival Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off, but I find him irresistible in all his realness. I’m never going to be a Scarlett Johansson, but that doesn’t stop him leering at me whenever he gets a chance.
So don’t hold out for the storybook hero. Because a real man is right around the corner, and so much easier to live with. Also he’s usually brighter than your average hero, and more likely to laugh at your jokes. If you’re as lucky as I am, you may actually find someone who will recognise and enjoy your numerous “Friends” quotes and giggle with you. Although you may be out of luck with that, since I think I got the last one.
And remember: “True love is the greatest thing in the world – except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.”
– Miracle Max, The Princess Bride